


Miles Between Us

by gaymingtrash



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood Magic, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Letters, Minor Character Death, Post-Here Lies the Abyss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 14:13:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6082416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaymingtrash/pseuds/gaymingtrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A prompt fill: "things you said with too many miles between us"</p>
<p>Hawke has to leave for Skyhold, leaving Anders behind her. She composes letters to him while she's gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miles Between Us

After sailing from Gwaren to Kirkwall in fleeing the Blight, Hawke never expected to see the place again. The King and Queen of Ferelden had promised the town to the Hero of Ferelden, Amell, and she in turn promised Anders this place of refuge when she found him after the Kirkwall rebellion. It was difficult to get to, being surrounded by forest, but it offered the couple safety while resting between travels.

News travelled slowly to Gwaren, and it had been a long while since Varric had last sent a letter, but word travels a lot faster when a breach opens in the sky, and the two of them soon heard of the new Inquisitor. The Herald of Andraste, they called him, and rumour spread that he was a mage. Rumour also spread that the Inquisition wanted the Champion, that the author of _Tale of the Champion_ was being held captive for information on her. Shortly afterwards, rumour was confirmed, and Hawke was sent for in a letter from Varric that started, “I’m sorry, Hawke, I tried.”

It wouldn’t have been the first time she would have been far from Anders - she and Stroud had been working together before he had been forced into hiding - but it would be for long, this time. If nothing else, it took nearly three weeks to get to Gherlen’s Pass by caravan, and then Maker knew how long to get to Skyhold on foot from there. She would have to go alone, too - Varric had mentioned Corypheus, and however that creature was still alive, she wasn’t letting him hurt Anders. She had seen what could happen, and it would not happen again.

“I understand why you have to go, love,” Anders had told her, and leaving him didn’t hurt any less knowing it was true. Principle, the greater good, _justice_ , came first for him, but she wasn’t the same. It mattered, of course it mattered, but this was bigger than Kirkwall, and she was out of her depth without her friends beside her. She didn’t want to go.

She left, and travelled, and she waited on the parapets of Skyhold, composing letters in her mind that she would never write or send.

* * *

_Anders,_

_I wish I could write to you honestly, but the Inquisition has so many enemies and the letter has so far to go. You’ll hear from me, you’ll know I’m safe, but I can’t tell you anything else. You’re in my mind, always, and I’ll bring all the news home to you when this is all over. I promise._

_I am safe, that much is true. Varric, too. This Seeker brought him up here from Kirkwall - along with Knight-Captain Fucking Cullen. Who is now Commander Fucking Cullen, would you believe? A mage Inquisitor, so-called Herald of Andraste, alongside a Templar army and a “reformed” Templar military commander. The Inquisitor seems a nice enough man, but I don’t understand him and I won’t say I’m not guarded around him. He asked me about you, and I had to be diplomatic - I didn’t say anything important, anything real. I’m not sharing you with anybody I don’t trust, even in words. You are the most important thing in my life._

_We go to Crestwood soon, to meet with Stroud - he knows something about the Wardens. Hopefully nothing bad, but when has “nothing bad” been a theme in either of our lives?_

_Hopefully we’ll be back together before too long,_

_Jessica_

* * *

The rendezvous in Crestwood wasn’t what she had hoped for. Far from voluntarily going into hiding, Stroud had been exiled by the other Wardens after decrying the Orlesian Warden-Commander’s plans to end all Blights once and for all - with blood magic. Hawke had seen blood magic at work, and she knew it could do good, but not on this kind of scale, not like this. They were all hearing their Calling, apparently, driving them to desperation. She tried to put it from her mind that Anders would one day hear his own Calling, false or not, but a lingering feeling of dread began to haunt her.

* * *

_Dear Anders,_

_I’m still safe. “Nothing bad” continues to not be a theme in our lives. The Orlesian Wardens are hearing their Calling - Stroud thinks it’s Corypheus’s doing, which is a fun new trick of his. He says it’s only in Orlais, and you’re as far from Orlais as you can get, but I saw Corypheus in your head and I saw what he did to you. I killed Corypheus before, though. I can help._

_We’re going to Adamant, and I’ll cut down anybody I have to, and then I’m coming home to you._

_Love,_

_Jessica_

* * *

“Do you think it mattered, Hawke? Do you think anything you ever did mattered? You couldn’t even save your city. How could you expect to strike down a god? Anders is going to die, just like your family, and everyone you ever cared about.” The voice was omnipresent, inside her mind as much as outside of it.

“Well that’s going to get tiresome quickly,” she shot back, but the words stung. Her life was marred by loss - as was Anders’s. He deserved better than he had in her, but he loved her, and she cared more about failing him now than she did defeating any self-proclaimed god.

When the Inquisitor chose Stroud to stay in the Fade, for once in her life she did not argue.

* * *

_My love,_

_I’m coming home, that’s all you need to know._

_I miss you, so much._

_Your Jessica_

* * *

Weeks passed before Hawke reached Gwaren again, and it was cautiously that she crossed the threshold of her own home, afraid of what she might find.

Anders started in his seat by the hearth, white as a sheet.

“I wrote letters,” he said, quietly. “Nobody replied. I thought-”

“I’m here,” Hawke said, not allowing him to say what neither of them wanted to hear. “It’s okay. I came back.”

They both looked at each other from a distance until Anders crossed the room and pulled Hawke into an embrace. She buried her face in his shoulder and breathed in his familiar earthy scent, feeling his warmth in what felt like the first time in years.

“I came back,” she repeated, her voice muffled slightly.

“You did, love. You’re home now,” Anders replied, stroking her hair. “You’re safe.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have many emotions. Jessica Hawke is very much red-purple - if she can't inspire fight or humour in what she says, she's at a loss for words. I considered making the letters increasingly long and have her spill her emotions, but after so much pain and loss she's just... tired. She can't be verbose about her hurt, she can just _feel_ it.
> 
> I... don't think these notes made me have fewer emotions.
> 
> On a lighter note, I spent a massive amount of time working out Thedas geography for the sake of the accuracy of two whole sentences re: travel times, which means I've probably overlooked some major plot-defining detail instead.
> 
> If you liked this, or wanted a chat, or anything like that, you can find me on tumblr as kalebtrevelyan.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Miles Between Us (Podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6839914) by [therealmnemo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealmnemo/pseuds/therealmnemo)




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